Oh Gwyneth, please shut up.

I know I’m quite unoriginal when I say that I can’t stand Gwyneth Paltrow along with her whole life philosophy – on display – in her infamous lifestyle website with a terrible name (I really do hate the name Goop).

We all know she’s a successful actress, Oscar winner wearing a very pink dress, heir to Hollywood royalty, married to Chris Martin, with two perfect kids that look like him, living the high life in London and flying to the Hamptons for the holidays… oh yes, she is fucking happy not to mention highly opinionated on many topics.

But every time she tells us women that there’s nothing like Stella McCartney’s lounge wear to relax around the house, or gives us the perfect pasta recipe that takes 80 minutes to prepare, or recommends a dish that requires ingredients that are not sold in this continent, or suggests a relaxing vacation in a Tuscan Villa  – I really want to throw a brick to her window.

I have friends that take her side,

“Oh come on, I do want to have all that she has”

You do?

“What exactly? Her expensive loungewear designer clothes, the biggest cookbooks ever written or Chris Martin fathering your child?”

Give me a break.

In any case, I had almost forgotten about her until this Sunday when I read about her latest venture in the Times. It seems that Gwyneth along with her beloved Tracy Anderson (whom I like to call Tracy Lopez) launched a new series called The Restart Project - a 10 episode documentary series – that follows both of them as they spend time with women who have – allow me to start quoting – “triumphed over physical and emotional challenges and transformed their bodies and minds. Each episode profiles an individual woman who has confronted a setback head-on and persevered, using diet and exercise to change her life.”

Because,

“We’re inspired by women who have restarted their lives using health and fitness,” Paltrow told the paper.

And also,

“There are so many women that are not focused on getting into their skinny jeans but focused on healing themselves from the inside out.” Anderson completed (a very deep thought I must add).

All the women profiled in The Restart Project have suffered horrible events like losing a child and being diagnosed with breast-cancer, and yet all of the participants found peace and resolution through – allow me to list these too:

1.    Natural healing, including martial arts,

2.    Competitive running and

3.    Healthy cooking.

I love this list.

It circles in it so many of the things that are wrong in the world.

Gwyneth,

Go back to sending the longest newsletters on the web filled with boring monologues about fruit and macrobiotic muffins. That now seems quite suitable – more than trying to change women’s lives - through your stupid healthy cooking and Tracey’s ballet bars.

Bitter?

I don’t care.

Please read their quotes again.