I hate Goodbyes.

I don’t really like goodbyes.

In fact, I hate goodbyes.

So I usually put goodbyes off until it’s absolutely necessary.

I just want to hang on as long as possible.

I’m saying a lot of goodbyes these days because people are moving away from NY.

I feel sad and I have a big hole in my stomach.

I didn’t say goodbye to Brown - in reality - she didn’t say goodbye to me.

But I understand. She was also sad.

I had one more horrible goodbye to deal with, but she had to close a full year chapter.

Not easy.

So here is my goodbye for Brown, in a Billy Joel song that I just listened to - by accident - and made me cry with big and noticeable tears, in the middle of a public space.

(Brown te voy a extrañar perro...)

Movin' on is a chance that you take
Any time you try to stay together
Whoa
Say a word out of line
And you find that the friends you had
Are gone forever
Forever

So many faces in and out of my life
Some will last
Some will just be now and then
Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes
I'm afraid it's time for goodbye again
Say goodbye to Hollywood
Say goodbye to my baby
Say goodbye to Hollywood
Say goodbye to my baby

Eva se va.

Ayer por la noche me despedí de Eva.

Y tengo una tristeza que no me puedo quitar.

Eva me conoce desde que tengo 18 años.

De hecho pasó mucho tiempo, antes de que yo descubriera, que ella es un año más joven que yo.

Pero fue mamá a los 15, Eva se tuvo que hacer grande, mientras yo era una niña.

Eva me conoce demasiado bien, me lee el pensamiento.

Estuvo en mi primera boda y me aconsejo cuando todo se fue al carajo.

Luego estuvo en la segunda. 

Y se quedó conmigo.

Eva me despidió cuando me vine a NY y estuvo conmigo en cada regreso a México.

Me ha visto llorar, me ha visto reír, me ha visto crecer, me vio convertirme en mamá.

Eva sabe todos mis enloquecimientos, sabe lo que me gusta, sabe lo que detesto, conoce cada una de mis manías y sabe cuáles son mis miedos.

Eva reza por mi, me aconseja, se preocupa.

Me ha consolado en muchos momentos y me ha cuidado como si fuera mi madre.

Eva vio nacer a Juliana y vio nacer a Diego.

Los ha querido como si fueran hijos de ella.

Eva me ha dado respiros cada vez que los necesito, se ha quedado a mi lado cuando se lo he pedido, me ha dado su apoyo incondicional y ha creído siempre en mi.

Eva y yo no necesitamos palabras para comunicarnos.

Eva es como mi familia, mi tía, mi prima, mi gran amiga.

No tengo palabras para agradecerte.

No sabes cuanto te voy a extrañar.

The amazing Nora Ephron.

Harry: “There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.”
Sally: “Which one am I?”
Harry: “You’re the worst kind; you’re high maintenance but you think you’re low maintenance.”
— “When Harry Met Sally”

I am really heartbroken about Nora Ephron’s death. I am one of her biggest fans, and I like I said it one day (here on my blog), I'm a very good friend of hers, but she just doesn’t know it.

It all started when I first saw the film “When Harry Met Sally” (back in 1989) which I probably watched over a million times after that "first" (In VHS, in DVD, in TV and in Blue Ray).

In fact I will probably watch it tonight -- with a glass of wine – and shed a couple of tears for the woman who among many other qualities, said all the things that people often thought.

Nora Ephron believed politicians were mostly phony, she questioned them openly about their fear of the “gay issue.” She used to attack Democrats and Republicans alike, saying to them, “It isn’t about religion, morality or politics, it’s only about the people.”

Her lists of "What I Won't Miss", "What I Will Miss" and "Twenty-five Things People Have a Shocking Capacity to be surprised by Over and Over Again" are priceless, a must-read. As well as her two collections of essays (part of my own Nonfiction short-list), “I Remember Nothing” and “I feel Bad About My Neck”. And of course, her revenge novel “Heartburn” and most of her movies, "Silkwood", "Sleepless in Seattle”, “Julie and Julia.” She leaves behind quite an impressive body of work.

She was a journalist, a novelist and a nonfiction writer. She wrote screenplays, plays and she also directed films. She had this distinctive wry voice that mixed wit, cynicism and humor, like very few writers (at least that I know).

I loved her trademark all-black attires, always buttoned up for the reasons she stated in I Feel Bad About My Neck.

Ephron wrote the essay entitled "The D Word" and suggested to Arianna Huffington, a whole new separate section on the Huffington Post devoted only to divorce. A truly brilliant idea.

About writing and being an Editor at Large at Huff Post she said, “Writing for the Huffington Post is not like 'The New Yorker' and 'Vogue', where my work is on print. Writing for the Internet is a significantly different thing with a soap-bubble's existence.”

True.

In fact, she said many things that I often quote:

“It seems to me the main thing you learn from failure is that it's entirely possible you will have another failure."

Very True.

“I'm convinced that, however old people are, they still keep trying to get their parents' approval, even if they've been dead for 40 years.”

Very much True.

There are some things Nora Ephron "loved" and I pride myself in "loving them too". She loved Barcelona, she loved speed and she loved deadlines. She also loved to write in the first person and she mostly loved telling the truth.

I will miss her columns and I will always be her devoted fan.

“When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.”

― “I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman”

NYC Gay Parade 2012

There was something very special about the New York City Gay parade this year. I’m not quite sure what it was but it felt more “solemn” (weird choice of words but can’t think of other). And I mean that in a good way -- after all -- it marked the first anniversary of marriage equality and quite some progress has been made during last year for LGBT rights (while writing this, I can almost hear my Gay friends saying “that we still have a long way to go”).

Perhaps it had to do with Obama voicing his support to the Gay community or having New York City’s Mayor Bloomberg and Governor Cuomo, marching down 5^th Avenue while the crowds cheered on. Maybe it was the NYPD and the NYC Firemen, whom also marched down the street to show their support. Or the big companies like Delta Airlines, supporting their Gay employees and partners, all wearing red t-shirts and waving flags. Or all those different Churches and Religious affiliations, with its members carrying banners for tolerance and acceptance. 

Whatever it was, it made me happy and proud to live in NYC. And I loved that my kids where there to witness it too.

This year’s parade crowd was definitely more mixed and diverse -- I don’t mean ethnically -- it was filled with full families, friends and co-workers who attended the parade regardless of their sexual orientation.

Now as a new generation of gay parents raises their children, all kids should become allies in the fight for LGBT rights. They should learn from an early age, that tolerance is key to become a good human being.

In our house we use the word “gay” to define homosexuality, so Juliana knows exactly that’s the only thing it means. It’s not that we talk about it all the time, but she knows we have gay friends and gay family members so I want her to understand that they’re just like her parents.

It was actually quite easy to give it to her, “Most families have a Mom and a Dad, but some families have two Moms or two Dads” 

Her only reaction was, “How do men have babies without a Mom?”

So I gave her a simple explanation that left her content and that was that. I told her that everyone ends up with the right parents for “them” whether they have two moms, two dads, a single mom, a single dad, foster parents or if they’re being raised by bears. At home I strongly promote embracing the fact that we’re all different. It’s much more fun.

I also read once: “Get to your kid before ignorance does.” So I did.

I believe in being honest with my kids and giving it to them like it is.

And all the intolerant, Republicans, homophobes, the One Million (insane) Moms and the Pope, should realize already that the gay agenda is not “everybody should be gay” but simply “everybody should be themselves.”

“Be whomever you want to be” it’s actually a great message to teach our kids, because it teaches them acceptance and tolerance as much as it teaches them to accept their own selves.

We all have a right to live our life how we want to and love whom we want to, as long as we have respect for everyone else on this planet.  

I cried a little watching the parade, and Juliana asked me, “Why are your crying Mom?”

I said I was happy that the world was moving in a good direction.

I also said to her "I love NY"

She said, "I do too"

I just dance.

I am a terrible dancer. Let me rephrase that, I suck at dancing. I’m also a terrible singer. I can’t carry a tune. However I do sing when I listen to songs that I like, just not too loudly out of respect for others.

What I really didn’t do for a long time was “dancing”. That is except for the occasional party or liquor-driven-dance-therapy with friends (Thanks Mara and Pavis). Then there are also those afternoons jumping around with my kids, dancing to the likes of Queen and Bowie.

But “dance-dance-dance”? Not really.

I wanted to, but it scared me and made me feel stupid -- and because I’m good at other things (Thank God) -- I figured ok Slap, just don’t dance.

But now it turns out that I’m dancing every Friday at 9:30 AM and it makes me insanely happy.

I don’t know if it’s the endorphins releasing a natural high, the energy levels in the room, our amazing teacher or simply the fact that I’m suddenly part of a group that has a mutual and unspoken understanding. But the fact is that I get in such a good place – it’s almost scary.

So I dedicated a couple of minutes to thinking about this. Why do I love my dancing class so much? Why indeed does it bring me so much joy?

Here goes my reflection.

My dance class helps me reset my fucking life and step outside of the issues that are presently worrying me. My dance class reminds me of my childhood - it produces a youthful vigor in me – it makes me feel quite young.

I also love my dance class because it requires far more attention and perseverance than my normal activities. The steps with Patricia are specific, so I don’t have a single opportunity to think of all of the other things going on in my life. During one full hour I get to exercise my heart as much as my mind.

I love the class because is just plain fun, because it makes me feel alive, feel free, it makes me feel like I can do it all.

I like to dance because it’s like celebrating life, because it makes me break a good sweat and because – as corny as this may sound - it's brings my joy to my soul.

And lastly, let me say to all my friends out there who know I’m a terrible dancer, dancing makes me honest, because in the end it’s only about allowing yourself to be who you are.

And who knew I was a dancer?

Thanks Patricia.

And,

Thanks to all the people that teach me something new everyday.

I cherish you all.

The Hipsters ( an ongoing invasion).

I love Brooklyn. In fact I love it so much that I often wonder why I’m not living there. So what I’m about to say should not offend any Brooklynites out there. The one I thing I hate about Brooklyn (and particularly while riding the the L line) is the continuously-evolving-proliferation of the ridiculous Hipster.

Oh God, are you offended because I just called you a hipster? It’s so funny you hipsters get annoyed by judgmental people since you are so fucking self righteous.

I worked many years in advertising, I started young and then I grew older (I am not that old, but yes I am older) and at some point I realized that I was leading a group of Creatives who were 15 to 18 years younger than I. Some of them really cool, some of them trying really hard to be cool and some of them actual "hipsters".

You know the kind, the ones that believe fashion has to appear effortless, even if they take 30 minutes to put on an outfit consisting of a smart-t-shirt and skinny jeans. The ones that are constantly evolving into whatever happens to be cool at the moment (but not too cool, oh God no), the ones that don’t have any cultural loyalties or affiliations for fear they will lose relevance or not be approved by the hipster-judging-panel. The ones that get angry with the term hipster and vehemently deny being one. The ones that want nothing to do with Manhattan and live and die for Brooklyn, the ones that follow all the hipster trends while actually believing they are "trendsetters". 

The hipster, the one that claims to be open minded but if you mention one music band that is not approved by his hipsters friends, he’ll freak out on you (Fleetwood Mac, agh really?). The hipster, the one that rides the oldest fixed-gear-bike made out of pieces of other bikes by another Hipster in Williamsburg, a bike that will actually cost him more than a brand new one. The hipster, the one you always see wearing stylistic trademarks like skinny jeans, cotton leggings, vintage flannel, fake eyeglasses and stupid looking out-of-bed-style haircuts. The hipster, the one that has an eternal collection of "cool t-shirts."

You get the picture? 

So hear me out for two seconds band of hipsters, “Stick to something, believe in something, it’s ok to like a pop song, you don’t have to hide to sing it. Take risks, make mistakes, be uncool, it doesn’t matter. If you don’t make an original move you will never be a leader, you will always follow others. And may I also remind you that High school is over, stop dressing like a 15 year-old hipster, you are 20 something and your stupid rebellion at the workplace is totally lame. And will you please stop giving me your environmentalist bullshit when you are the target of all the major brands out there, accept it, you fell into the trap of American consumerism and most probably those Adidas tennis shoes you’re wearing, are a limited edition, a 300 dollar shoe. So get off your green and recycled horse right now."

Gavin McInnes, one of the founders of Vice, had a "Dos and Don'ts" commentary that defined the rules of hipster fashion for over a decade. He defended the hipsters of course, since he was making so much money of them, "I've always found that word ["hipster"] is used with such disdain, like it's always used by chubby bloggers who aren't getting laid anymore and are bored, and they're just so mad at these young kids for going out and getting wasted and having fun and being fashionable.”

I come from a generation (Gen X) that sociologists tend to judge unapologetically so I’ve gotten hit hard. But this Hipster culture deserves a major spanking, because it’s choking in its own shallowness and because the several layers of superficiality are keeping these kids blindfolded -- thus -- unable to create anything meaningful.

Christian Lorentzen wrote an article entitled ‘Why the Hipster Must Die.' in Time Out New York, "These hipster zombies… are the idols of the style pages, the darlings of viral marketers and the marks of predatory real-estate agents. And they must be buried for cool to be reborn."

 

Douglas Haddow a Canadian writer, who is 28, said it perfectly well, “We are a lost generation, desperately clinging to anything that feels real, but too afraid to become it ourselves. We are a defeated generation, resigned to the hypocrisy of those before us, who once sang songs of rebellion and now sell them back to us. The hipster represents the end of Western civilization – a culture so detached and disconnected that it has stopped giving birth to anything new.”

I agree with them two. We all want to be surprised by this generation, we all know that many Millenial geniuses are becoming the heroes of our times, but what happens with all the potential hidden behind a hipster disguise? 

And also, please leave Brooklyn out of your hipsterism. The neighborhood is not only yours.

In·no·va·tion. (Or what the hell is going on?)

Noun.

1.

Something new or different introduced.

2.

The act of innovating: introduction of new things or methods.

Innovation, say that again? I keep hearing that word so often lately that is giving me a headache. One of those frenzy -- “should I be doing this? Am I totally out? Am I a dinosaur? Did I get old to fast? When did I miss the train?” -- Kind of headaches.

Lately I’ve been bumping with a lot of Ad people that have become the lead innovators at the companies they work for. Director of Innovation. Strategic Head of Innovation. Innovation Designer. Innovation Creative Director… etc.

I assume that all of them have that one thing in common: they innovate.

Now, the question is, how the hell do they do that?

I have a theory that very few people (except the Steve Jobs of the world that is) have no clue on how to actually make innovations happen -- other than hoping they hire someone -- who will keep coming up with good and profitable products or services.

An innovation is sort of an invention that is useful to the world in any kind of way. Perhaps the invention improves some product, process or service (for the public) that already exists, hence making it much better than before. And if that’s the case, then that invention evolves into an innovation.
And the author (or team of authors) behind that new invention, are called Innovators.

The other day I sat during a whole day at SCAMP, a series of conferences curated for people (like me) who are looking for inspiration outside their bubble. Among the people that were invited “were creatives, innovators, publishers, artists, curators, strategists, creative technologists, UX evangelists and entrepreneurs."

Some of the speakers were really great and shared good ideas and insights with the audience, new things that are happening out there, new projects, crazy projects, not yet done projects, all really very exciting.

One of them – a millennial genius - came in at the end. He was witty, fast and creative. He has a company that works on this type of “innovations” but between my exhaustion towards the end of the day and his techie-language sophistication, I didn’t understand as much as I would’ve liked to, but at some point there was a genius bike that tweeted during a road trip throughout the USA, then it was a propeller and then I think there was also a project for a tweeting airplane -- or something.


Cool. Wonderful. Exciting. Fun. Amazing. Truly.

Why can’t I come up with those ideas? Does it require like an engineering technology degree of some kind? Or only like regular-millennial-extremely-computer-savvy set of skills? How do they know how to make these things work? Who are these Bots that keep coming up? Where are they? Are they going take over the world or just have a portion of the land, like the aliens on District 9?

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know. Should I know? Am I an idiot not to know?

It’s all very scary and it puts me on a lot of extra-pressure that I can’t handle now, in fact I also feel bad for the super-smart-speaker-man, I wonder how much pressure does it put on him -- to come up with the next best thing? Given the fact that we’re living in this extremely fast paced world, where the star invention of the moment can be as ephemeral as the next tweet coming in our timelines.

Past news. So yesterday. It’s kinda sad.

So when SCAMP ends I go get a beer to calm me down and it suddenly hits me.

Why? Why is it important? What do we do with it? Is it going to cure aids eventually? I really have to think hard about all of this, I do, I am sorry, a tweet blast? Yes cool, a million people tweeting for a cause, then what? The iPhone is a genius it’s way smarter than the users, and what’s up next? Is he going to prepare milkshakes? Is he going to do reiki to get rid of back pains?

I don’t get it. I am confused and I don’t say this in any disrespectful way for all the innovators out there, they are great and have my admiration.

But how about reading Dostoievsky? Watching an old Bruce Lee flick? Exfoliate your feet with sand? Watch a fucking sunset? Or simply look around?

Life is moving fast, innovation big or small can be great and obviously the future of many businesses depends upon their ability to innovate. Competition is fierce I know and knowledge spreads quickly. So this “innovation” practices are critical to survival.
I am not so lost, all of this I know, but shouldn’t we stop for a second and understand why. 

Why is it so good and necessary? Is it really?
 I’m just askin’…

Innovation is hard to schedule.
- Dan Fylstra